Packing is my nemesis

I honestly cannot stand packing. Going to my place of origin is enough, but also moving at the same time. It's like a packing overload. The good thing about it? I finally did my laundry AND folded it AND put it away.

Now, here's the thing about going 'home.' Airlines now charge you to check baggage. Really? I mean, COME ON. I don't want to pay to take a suitcase so OF COURSE I'm going to try to fit three weeks of my life into one carryon (suitcase) and one 'personal item.' (read: gym bag. Take that airline people!) I suppose it is only $15, given you check in online at home, but when you are traveling on four separate flights, it adds up pretty quick. $45 simply to take clothes with me? I feel like I should be allowed to check stuff for free because they can't possibly expect a 20 something college GIRL to pack only the essentials for three weeks. However, I managed to make it work. I got three pairs of pants, 12 shirts, three sweaters, four pairs of shoes, pajamas, scarf, gloves, and make-up in my one suitcase. That leaves my computer and reading materials + electronics for my personal item. With room to spare. There is good possibility I will repack to lighten the gym bag load, simply because I like to put my feet in front of me.

As far as packing to move: IT TAKES FOREVER! You can work and work and work and you think you have gotten SO MUCH done because one corner is all cleared out, then you look behind you. In the big picture, nothing has gotten done. Some how you have managed to pack up six boxes and your room still looks full. Anyone that was not part of the packing process probably doesn't even notice. EVen more than I dislike packing, is my dislike of unpacking. I don't like making decisions about where things go. It takes too long. My plan this time though is to finish unpacking before it is time to move again :)
I am almost positive I will run out of boxes before I finish, but I suppose that is where suitcases and laundry baskets come into play.

The fun part about this move is I get to pack everything up and get my room all cleaned and when I come back it will magically have appeared in a new home! I find this exciting- leave for a couple weeks come home to an apartment full of boxes. I think I mostly enjoy not carrying boxes from house to car to house. Thank you elves for your help this christmas season!

Anyhow, the main point of this blog post is to waste time so I don't have to start packing. Which is not good. I have the rest of today and tomorrow to finish :) Had I started strong last week I might actually be close to finished. Oh well! We can't have everything in life. I'll be off to pack now.

Home Sweet Home

It sure is nice to sit in my own room on my own bed after spending five days sharing an air mattress on the floor of someone else's office. Followed by a 19 hour car trip. YIKES! Ahhh.

You know those times when you build up an event only to have exactly the opposite happen? Man I hate that.

Well, I should probably not waster anymore time. I must get myself prepared for tomorrow and off to bed so I can start this crazy next couple of weeks.

Hello December and thank you for keeping yourself exciting!

I'm happy.

That is all my people.

Ponderings.

This morning, I had a really awesome conversation with my roommates about the Book of Mormon. I had decided I would do my scripture study at the table, where Amber had started hers. Stephanie was cooking breakfast. As new ideas were being shouted out we just kept talking and discussing and it was amazing. I love that when I read and study the scriptures, and especially when I am able to talk about them (I think you learn more when you talk about it. At least I do) I feel so close and in tune with the Spirit. It makes knowing things and feeling good about decisions that much easier. As long as you choose to follow it! Listening is important, I know this, and I must follow my own teachings! That's one of the things I learned in my scripture study this morning. It's one thing to teach something. It's another completely to then live it and demonstrate it to those you teach. And that is what counts even more.

Frito Lay

Over and over I tell myself I will eat healthy food!
Honestly, I enjoy 'healthy' foods. I like fruit. I like vegetables. I like when my meals have a good variety in them. That isn't my problem. My problem is that these fruits and vegetables and breads are only in their prime eatability for a few days. Which means more trips to the grocery store. Where as highly processed foods - such as everything made by frito lay - keep forever! And it's still delicious! That is where my problem is. I still have food in the house, so why go buy more? I prefer to just eat what I have until it is completely gone. And then go. But I suppose that is not the way to do it. And that is not eating balanced meals.
But they are balanced, for the first couple days when the perishables have not yet perished.

I will continue to try, but those delicious pieces of fried... something... are calling to me.

Medicating your animals

My dog is now on anti-anxiety medication. Cause she is ca-razy.
Maybe now she will stop freaking out about everything.
We'll see.

Also, I got to paint the faces of many children today.
It was more fun than I thought it would be.
And I like my supervisor more than i thought I would.
But some people I still don't like.
But I will get over it.

Also I went to Edo's Squid.
It was the most delicious thing I have eaten.
Possibly ever.
Most likely.
It was shocking.
I didn't expect it to be so awesome.

Also, it is tax free weekend now.
My favorite weekend of the summer.
I LOVE school supplies.
Yes I do.
And I get to fill a backpack for an elementary schooler.
It feels good to give.

That's all for now!

Ummmm, sooooo, yeah

I have nothing really going on in my life right now. And nothing really to blog about. But I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway!

I like this song:

If You Could Hie to Kolob, 284 - William W. Phelps

1. If you could hie to Kolob In the twinkling of an eye,
And then continue onward With that same speed to fly,
Do you think that you could ever, Through all eternity,
Find out the generation Where Gods began to be?

2. Or see the grand beginning, Where space did not extend?
Or view the last creation, Where Gods and matter end?
Me thinks the Spirit whispers, “No man has found ‘pure space,’
Nor seen the outside curtains, Where nothing has a place.”

3. The works of God continue, And worlds and lives abound;
Improvement and progression Have one eternal round.
There is no end to matter; There is no end to space;
There is no end to spirit; There is no end to race.

4. There is no end to virtue; There is no end to might;
There is no end to wisdom; There is no end to light.
There is no end to union; There is no end to youth;
There is no end to priesthood; There is no end to truth.

5. There is no end to glory; There is no end to love;
There is no end to being; There is no death above.
There is no end to glory; There is no end to love;

There is no end to being; There is no death above.

I was listening to it in the car with Amber (who is back now! yay!) and it is so beautiful. First off, it is peaceful and just kinda eats away everything else in the world when it is on. And secondly, it just emphasizes over and over that there is no end. We have an eternity ahead of us. We have so much to live for, in this life and the next and I love knowing that. I love knowing that the time I spend on this earth is only a portion of my life, and that I have so many greater things to look forward to when my time here is done. Just because my time on earth is done, does not mean my life is over. AHHH!

I LOVE this gospel!!

And this song. I could listen to it on repeat all day.

What a Weekend!

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to go up to Washington DC and participate, for the first time, in temple work.  We started our trip early so we could walk around DC and look at some of the monuments and museums and such, but then we went for the main event.  And it was one of the best experiences.  I am so glad I got to go and feel the spirit so strongly with me, and be around people that felt the same way.  Honestly, a combination of yesterday and today's awesome talks and lessons in church, then spending the afternoon and evening with great friends- new and old- I don't want this week to start.  I'm not ready to go out into the world yet, I want to hold onto this peace and happiness I feel.  I suppose that is my challenge, our challenge, in life. To be in the world but not let the world rule us. To hold onto out inner peace amongst the chaos.  I only hope I can succeed!  I know I will need it this week.

Career choices

So, I'm well on my way to being an elementary teacher.

For the last week and a half I've worked at St. Joseph's Villa for Children.  What if I decide I want to go into special needs?  I really like having a low ratio. And making a connection.  And making a difference.  I know I can do that as a mainstream teacher, but what if I had the chance to work with the villa as a career?  To work with kids that really need a partner in life, to be that person for someone.  How amazing would that be??  Awesome.  

I guess I have some things to think about.  Maybe I can wait til I get to grad school to make that decision, we'll find out.  I change my mind so often, I may just be in school forever. 

Elementary teacher.

Bilingual teacher.

Special education teacher.

So many options!

Needless to say, I really like working with the villa and I am hoping I can find a part-time job with them, or at least volunteer during the school year.

Also, I have the best hairdresser ever.  Not only does she make my hair look beautiful no matter how ambiguous I am about what I want, she offers some great words of encouragement, probably without even knowing it.

She is a chatty girl and was asking me about recent romantic adventures in my life.  After going quickly over the many things happening in my life she commented, "Being single is hard."  (I agree!) "But you know, once you get married, all of that stuff is nothing.  You look back and realize why all those things didn't work out.  And you don't care anymore."

I missed institute to get my hair done (priorities, I know...) and we are taking about the proclamation and preparing for marriage and families and all that fun stuff (I actually like it, I look forward to that part of my life) and she summed up what you need to remember while dating and looking for that special someone- If ti doesn't work out, there is a reason and you will be aware of it when you finally do find that person for you.

Good couple of days I say!

Week One

I adore my new job.  I adore the company, the villa, and the kids.  Even though they are high maintenance, I adore them.  

On the other hand, I am losing patience with the YMCA.  Time for them to decide if they want me or not because as of now, I am being strung along.  Employed, but given no hours.  So, we shall see how this next week goes!

And on another hand, I adore my roommates and our new house :)

New Jobs

It's been a while.  let's start with a story.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Sarah.  She loved all of the jobs she's had working with kids.  She was really excited to start a new job working with pre-schoolers that really need her.  So excited she set her alarm for super early so she would be early and be able to have her face bright and shining when it was time to start.  

Monday morning, the first day of her new job, Sarah woke up with a start and quickly realized her cell phone, which was also her alarm clock, had died during the night.  Frantically, she flipped open her computer to see that she was supposed to be at her new exciting job twenty minutes ago.  It's a forty minute drive.

Sarah called in to tell them what happened and rushed out the door.  She arrived finally and got to work.  Things went smoothly until she started getting cramps.  "No big deal" she thought.  "I'll make it til lunch."  So she tried to ignore it and did her best to be smiley for her kids.  While the kids were painting, she began to feel lightheaded.  Her vision blurred and she started sweating.  She then got the sudden urge from her body to be in a bathroom.  After a few not so fun moments in there, she went to her boss to tell him what happened.  He suggested water.  She returned to the bathroom and further emptied her stomach.  

Sarah was then given the ok to sit down away form the children for a while and eat some crackers.  Finally, her stomach decided to calm down and let her finish out her day.  Color returned to her face and the sweat stopped, but she was now exhausted and starving from all her bathroom activities.

Hopefully day two she will be able to prove to be the reliable person she has been at every other place of employment. 

Sundays are my favorites

I'm moving, which means changing wards.  Tears.  I hadn't really decided when, but I was just gonna fly under the radar and surprise everyone with the news that I wasn't coming back, except to visit of course.  I'm not one for big good-byes.

Last night, the Zonies called and asked if I would give a ride to an investigator, which locked me into going to the branch.  No problem there, I like the branch.  :)  The missionaries asked if I was leaving, and couldn't believe it. Haha.  But most of all, when I told Brother Bell he was surprised.  I thought my surprise had worked, and I would be out, but I was told I HAD to speak one last time and say good-bye.  Let's remember that none of the others who transfered their records were asked to speak.  But for some reason I was.  Maybe because I told Brother Bell instead of Pres. On.  Who knows.  But I am excited.  I get to share my experience in the branch and my growing up with them and also my experiences with the priesthood.

The priesthood has blessed me so much, especially over the last few months.  Just being in the presence of priesthood holders has been an uplifting experience, and I can't wait to share it with everyone. :)

Ears ringing. Sore neck. Tired. Totally worth it,

Let's start with Monday.  Monday, I started the dreaded SUMMER SCHOOL.

I had class from 9-12, came home, got things together, read a little, work from 3-6.  Went straight to campus for class from 7-9:40.  Long flippin day.  I fell asleep at 10:30 in order to be fueled at 6:30 am for another day!  Class, interview for another job, work, then home to get dressed and eat quickly and go to the Saving Abel concert with Amber, Heather, and Cory.  I appreciate the music that was played, I appreciate the art form and all the hard work that goes into it, however, the best part of the concert was definitely the people I went with and having fun with them.  I enjoyed myself perhaps a little too much, head banging, bouncing around, having drinks spilled on me... (some people need to chill out... and not bring their drinks into the crowd.  I don't understand that, I honestly don't think drinks should be allowed in the crowd, with the exception of bottled water, maybe.)  and I stayed up too late.  I fell asleep sometime around 1, up at 6:30 again!

I just barely made it throuh my first class, came home and crashed.  I set my alarm for 1:45, giving myself 45 minutes to get up change eat whatever before leaving for work.  Only when Evan called me at 2:45 did I realize I had set it for AM and not PM.  I ran out the door and was only ten minutes late. HAHA!  And then of course my evening course.  

My evening course is taught by Jon Bergnier, the meteorologist  for WRIC.  It's like getting a weather report every class period! Lol.  He is high energy though, so it makes it a little easier to get through to 9:30 pm.  I can't say I will miss it though when it is over. In a seven more weeks.

Well, that has been my week so far.  

Happy Mother's Day!

I would like to take this time to say- I love my mom.  I am so grateful to her and all of the things she has taught me.  Yes, there have been times when I've been frustrated by her, angered, whatever, but overall, my mom has taught me the importance of being strong, and being your own person.  She is the one that showed me if you fight for it, you can accomplish goals.

So, THREE CHEERS FO MOM!

I don't know why it was sideways... :(

For teaching me how to laugh, love and learn
I love you!

Annnnnd SCENE!

Today was my last official final. For Spring semester that is. All of my finals were take-homes... even the ones that weren't take home were like take-homes. Ok, here is what I mean.

Let's start by remembering I dropped Spanish Literature after getting sick and falling so far behind I couldn't catch up. Mostly because my teacher spoke at a speed my ears couldn't quite process. It all sounded like rolling rrrrr's and "th th th" (spanish from spain, much different than any of my other teachers).

Ok, class 1! Advanced spanish grammar and writing II: WI
Don't let the title fool you. It wasn't that hard. Sure, it's a 300 level course, but honestly, I think I unlearned more than I learned.
The final- Our last essay, to be written in class. Argumentative. SWEET! Pick a side, and support it. Thank you AP english/literature and Jackie for giving me all those timed essays. No prob. Even if it is in spanish. I got this yo! Wait, bonus! We must come to class with a PREPARED outline. And we can use dictionaries and our book. Ok, so, pretty much I write the shell of my paper and then copy it and beef it up in class? Ok. DONE

Class 2! Content of elementary science. WI
Uhhhh... yeah. So, you know how you have to take a biology class, a physics/chem class, and an earth science class? Ok, this one takes allllll of that, dumbs it down, and tells you it all over again! My final? the fifth online quiz, and revising a lesson plan. Yes. REVISING. Take an activity sheet (already done), pick something to change and say why. DONE!

Class 3! Integrating the Arts in Curriculum
HA! I got this DOOWWWWNNN! I mean, did I not go to a school for seven years that emphasized EXACTLY that every day? I was beyond prepared for this. The class consisted of short lectures, and 'learning centers.' Things like painting, sculpting, drama, etc and writing how to use it in curriculum. The final? A fifteen question take home. No books, only use 2h 40m. Honor code! So, you could cheat, but if found out, you would be in big trouble. Still, all questions were open ended and mostly opinion. DONE!

CLass 4! Children's Literature
BY FAR my favorite class. Ever. Easy class, and she didn't try to lie and say it wasn't. But also emphasized that easy did not equal meaningless. Class consisted of talking about books and different ways to use them in curriculum and such. The final? A seven question take home. Mostly opinion. All easy and straightforward. Also, read a book (Mine was Sarny. Go read it, but first read Nightjohn) and share a little to the class and make a response. our response? Bagels, fruit cocktail, and jam. Yup. DONE!

I learned a lot in that class. I wish she taught all my classes :( lol.

So, for all of you who envy education majors- sorry yo! It may seem easy now, but remember how little we get paid. And how much work goes into being a GOOD teacher. This week is teacher appreciation week. If you can think of one teacher that made a positive impact, try to let them know. They will surely appreciate it.

I'm addicted to my blog

Sunday night, I went to a CES broadcast and Elder Bednar talked about spending too much time on the internet... not cultivating actual, physical, real relationships. Starting a blog may have not been a good idea for me.

Sweet Music

I formed an instant bond to the powerful voice of Etta James years ago when I was introduced to her by my then roommate, current hetero-life mate Cassie Mae.
Only last week did I finally buy a CD.

And my goodness, if she doesn't speak right to my heart. It's like, a soundtrack for life. Ahhh.

Cheesy, I know. But for real. I feel it. Especially after certain events that recently went down. I feel like she is sending me messages from the past, telling me to just go for it. If you don't put yourself out there, you won't get hurt, but you won't succeed either.

"I don't want nobody
If i can't have you
oh i can't love nobody
unless i'm loving you

The way you hug me
The way you squeeze me
The way you kiss me
ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
if i can't have you

i can't talk to nobody
unless i'm talking to you
i don't wanna hold nobody
unless i'm holding you

The way you hug me
The way you squeeze me
The way you kiss me
ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
if I can't have you

i can't be kissing nobody
unless i'm kissing you
i just don't i just don't i just don't want to be bothered with nobody
unless i'm bothered with you

The way you hug me
The way you squeeze me
The way you kiss me
ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
if I can't have you"

Here comes MAY!

Today is the las tday of April, and rain clouds have been looming for days. I'm waiting for it to just open up and pour. I should probably go upstairs and move all of my things away from that leaky window. I should also probably be getting ready for work. I decided today I was going to start looking for a new job, especially when I checked my bank account and my funds were alarmingly low. Just when I think I'm going to make it and not have to stress about overdrafts and late fees, I get a little kick of reality and SURPRISE!

Lucky for me, my other bank account has been unusually high in funds. I guess that extra $50 dollars or so a month that dont' get used from my paychecks on car payements and insurance adds up pretty quick. And boy am I grateful!

So I looked around. Put my resume on Monster, filled out a few applications. I may be working two jobs this summer, but at least I will have some cash flow. It is time for me to grow up and start taking better care of my finances. Something I should have doen the moment I moved out here.

Ok, time to get goin. I have one hour before I have to leave and have yet to shower. Or any of those other necessary things. Including walking the dog.

Until later Mis Amores!

Okay, I give up

Alright, I gave up on that last one. I can't remember two theories of children's are development. Maybe through bloggin I will... or not. I don't really care! I answered all the rest and rocked them, so yeah. Woop.

I can't even focus to blog cause there is something else I want to talk about. But I just can't do it! Sometimes, life is so confusing.

FINALS

I have a take home for one of my classes. And I can't make myself focus. I want to go outside and sit and read. Even though it is super windy out. Take homes are LAAAAAAAME. Especially when you aren't supposed to use your notes. I mean, come on! Not that I need them. But it makes it that much more 'unfun.' ANd hard to focus. I'm only supposed to use 2 hours and 40 minutes and record my start and end time, So far I've used up 45 minutes. I answered maybe five out of 15 questions then started playing on the internet. I am sucha abad student. FOCUS and I would be done by now.

Ok, I will go back now. SHEESH

Stop making junk food healthier!

I mean, really. If I want to eat healthy, I will eat healthy. But I am tired of picking up junk food for its comforting qualities to find they have reduced the amount of salt, or creme filling. Honestly people. I know what I am getting myself into. I am perfectly aware that my finals/break-up diet of a package of cookies and a bag of cheetoh's will certainly lead to an early death. Or at least some sort of health problems. But that's why I balance it out with good meals! That's why I eat apples, and bell peppers and all sorts of good stuff when I don't need my comfort foods.
Today I was really counting on the salty goodness of this tube of pringles, but they are much lower in salt content than I remember. Honestly, chips that come in a tube? Do I REALLY expect them to help me lose weight? NO! I eat them for their tastiness, not quality.
Diet, low fat, sugar free (ok, its ok for diabetics, in fact vital, but for all of us who don't have that problem...) all of it is to trick you! You want something low fat? EAT A VEGETABLE! And stop complaining about your weight and blaming it on my pringles! Take responsibility for your diet. If you eat fatty foods, you will be a fatty. You are what you eat people! And I want to be a tube of salty pringles!

AGAIN

For anyone who remembers, a few months ago I was rushing around the house to get things done, trying to pick up some extra slack cause my poor roomie couldn't walk! I had been studying in her room with my computer and when she needed to go to the pharmacy to get some meds I put all of my things on the coffee table in the livingroom. Books, comuter, lunch dishes. I had eaten the fod, but not quite finished the water. NOT THINKING I left it all together. Well, take her to get her meds, then went out to dinner with my dear Cassandra. Came back to find my cup of water had been knocked over, spilling directly into my computer. I was DEVASTATED.

I replaced my computer (that was a tough one, these things are expensive!) adn made a vow to NEVER EVER EVER! leave anything wet next to my new computer.

Fast forward to today. Normally, I use a waterbottle with a locking lid and carry that around to drink out of. But I left it in Amber's car (oh no! She just left for charlottesville for the week) so Iw as using a cup. No problem. I can drink out of cups... I had it on my nightstand and my computer on my bed. NO DANGER.

Then AMber called and asked me to bake some cookies for a baptism so I packed upall my things and took them downstaris. Completely forgot about the cup of water (today was a little hectic, with all the text-message fighting and being angry and emotional) and drove the cookies out to monument. I came back and went downstairs to finish my paper for my final tomorrow. I saw a large pink cup knocked over. I ran to the table and immediately started drying things. I opened my computer and the mouse was still working so I thought I was safe. Just in case, I ejected Cass's disc. FIve minutes later I heard a strange noise, and havent' been able to turn my computer on since. Really? REALLY? I spilled water on my computer AGAIN? At least this time, I have it covered... I think. I should be able to get it replaced for free. Let's hope. If not, I will be without computer for a while. I can't possibly buy another one. I will just have to smile pretty at ym friends and borrow theirs for my homeworks. And stuff.

Anyway, I have one last project to finish before bed.

Here's to hoping the mac people take pity on me!

One week later

Ok, that was difficult. I won't lie. And I know I repeated some.  The good thing to remember is that there are many things to be grateful for. Even things I don't need.  Such as my computer, or even more, my blog... yeah.  But there are a lot of things that I couldn't live without so it is good to say our thanks every once in a while to remember that we have them.  Yeah, water is available, but how much of our water is undrinkable? So I am grateful that I still have access to clean water. =D

On another story. I am going to share with you the AMAZING projects I have done this semester in my children's literature class.  I am so proud.  I will make one big post next week after class is over over. We still have one project left, so I'll wait on that.

And in OTHER news: THE SUN IS OUT AND IT GETS WARMER EVERYDAY!

So happy.

And in OTHER news. I can carry a conversation in spanish with my first graders. Yay me.

And in OTHER news- I think I am done with this. =D

Things I am grateful for: Part VII (133-154)

154. Macintosh

153. Water Bottles

152. Purple

151. Rainbows

150. Spell Check

149. Fancy Nancy

148. Princess Elizabeth

147. Counting

146. Couches

145. Lunch and Learn

144. Pizza

143. Institute

142. Smiling

141. Springtime

140. My doggie

139. Light bulbs

138. Work

137. Service

136. Stuffed animals

135. Knowledge

134. Legos

133 Best Friends

Things I am grateful for: Part VI (111-132)

132. Lighters

131. Car

130. Barbie

129. Robert Munsch

128. The Paper Bag Princess

127. Learning Centers

126. TEDU 411

125. End of the semester!

124. Finals

123. Connecting

122. Cell Phone

121. Popcorn

120. Computer

119. Blogging

118. Fingers

117. Spell Check

116. Spanish

115. Electricity

114. Pictures

113. Memories

112. Letting go

111. Numbers

Things I am grateful for: Part V (89-110)

110. Water

109. Rain

108. Thunder

107. Lightning

106. Clean sheets

105. Pillow

104. Clean pillowcase

103. Clean blanket

102. Washing machine

101. Dryer

100. Flat iron

99. "pampers"

98. "webbed feet"

97. Children's literature

96. Author celebrations

95. Cookies

94. Toothbrush

93. Toothpaste

92. Milk

91. Soft Towels

90. Shampoo

89. Conditioner

88. Bobby Pins

Things I am grateful for: Part IV (67-88)

88. Church

87. Sacrament

86. Sunday School

85. The Book of Enos

84. The Liahona

83. Conference

82. Relief Society

81. Good Shoes

80. Dresses

79. Jewelry

78. Make-up

77. The Atonement

76. Testimony

75. Living Prophets

74. The Restored Gospel

73. Conversation

72. Babies

71. Plan of Salvation

70. Eternal Families

69. Prayer

68. The Priesthood

67. Hymns

Things I am grateful for: Part III (45-66)

I'm very bad at doing this on time... whoops

66. Grills

65. Good friends

64. bell peppers

63. onions

62. chicken

61. shrimp

60. strawberries

59. oranges

58. mangoes

57. kiwi

56. tomatoes

55. whole foods

54. corn

53. salt

52. pepper

51. kale

50. fire

49. flip flops

48. shorts

47. summer nights

46. music

45. target

44. cooking

Things I am grateful for: Part II (23-44)

(Woops... I forgot yesterday. Just pretend. shhhh)

44. Warm weather

43. rowdy children

42. Sand

41. Pop-tarts

40. Opportunity for good conversation

39.  Ability to experience emotion

38. New friends

37. Markers

36. Having a plan

35. Running 

34. Freshly cut grass

33. Being Barefoot

32. My five senses

31. Cold water on a hot day

30. Love

29. Free popcorn

28. Being able to see the end

27. Cookies

26. vivid colors

25. changing seasons

24. Snuggly blankets

23. Relief Society

22. Chirping birdies

Things I am grateful for: Part I (1-22)

22. Sunshine

21. Warm Bed

20. Scriptures

19. Ensign

18. School

17. Computer

16. House

15. Curious Doggy

14. Car

13. Ticklish Children

12. Laughter

11. My Roommate

10. Cheetoh's

9. Hot Showers

8. Wheaties

7. Shoes

6. Friends

5. Reading

4. Barnes & Noble

3. My Mom

2. My Family

1. My Planner

That stupid bus finally hit me.

Well, that was fun. PSYCH!  Let's just throw it back a couple decades huh?

Alright, so, since I had such a wonderful day yesterday (PSYCH) I have been inspired to blog everyday for the next week ONLY about the things I am thankful for.  I am 22 years old... so I will pick 22 things each day.  Goin mom style here. In the end I should have well over 100 things I am grateful for.

I started doing this in my prayers about a month ago.  I went for about a week, maybe a little longer, where I only gave thanks.  I just, wasn't feeling my best self and wasn't feeling like I should be asking for anything or complaining, so I put forth my best effort to show gratitude.  And now, I shall share it with the world! Mwahahahaaa!

Keep in mind, 22 different things each day is a challenge.  I will be getting very creative, and specific.  Please, bare with me.

The new Friday night (my reading list updated, or, what I do instead of homework and going out on Friday nights)

I started a new book.  I finished all the reading I had to do for my literature class to date, so I took some time to do my own reading.  Since the newest book in the Ivy League series hasn't come out yet (I'm waiting for you Tap & Gown!) And I hadn't yet made it to Barne's & Noble to pick up the next book in the Blue Blood series I found in the teen section (don't make that face.  Reading is reading.) I started a book I picked up from the non-fiction section.  I was looking for a book for Amber about President Lincoln ( I was still stressing abut her birthday gift because I couldn't for the life of me remember any of things she had not so subtly be hinting at for the past month except for a teapot.  Which I later remembered to be perfume.  Don't ask how I got that so mixed up. I have no idea.) This one was on the shelf above all the Lincoln books and was all shiny with the fancy lettering and everything.  I picked it up and read the introduction, and was hooked.  I brought it home and left it in my car (cause I am too lazy to take things out... I still have luggage in there from december) and was able to pick it up when we were house hunting and had a little time on our hands between appointments.  Bitter is the New Black (Confessions of a condescending, egomaniacal, self-centered Smart-ass, or why you should never carry a Prada Bag to the unemployment office). It's a memoir about a successful woman that gets laid off shortly after 9/11 and has to deal with not having the financial security to shop and pamper herself all the time as she has become accustomed to doing.  And she uses sarcasm at every opportunity.  Including footnotes for further smack-talk.  I LOVE it. Because I appreciate good sarcasm and well-earned verbal beatings.  

By the time I had read about twenty pages I knew I was going to be needing all the rest of the books in her series of memoirs.  I am coming for you next!  All of you!

I picked up the rest of my teenvamp stories... just to complete the series.  Gotta do it.  I was horrified to find that while the first two are available in paperback only, the third is in hardback.  What?! What is wrong with you Barnes&Noble!  I come to you to complete a set, but you can't even make them match? I am so disappointed. But I bought them anyway. And will read them.  They are at the top of my list.  As long as they are finished by July so I can read Tap & Gown!

It's like... watching the bus run you over

You know that feeling you get before you have an emotional breakdown?  You can feel it coming, but its not quite there yet.  Your eyes are all tingly, your chest gets tight and you feel it coming on. But then it doesn't.  I think maybe the waiting part is the worst part.  The longer you wait the more you know it's going to hurt when it finally comes.  

A wise- or maybe not so much wise as clever.  And maybe not so much clever as... something else. I dunno- person said to me:

It's like when I'm playing basketball.  I can see the basketball coming towards my head, and I know its going to hurt when it hits my head, but I can't stop it and I can't move out of the way.  I just have to wait and watch as time slows until it hits me.  And then it hurts.

So close!

Woopwoop! Guess who gets to move again!  We were so close to having a move free summer, and then... dun dun dunnnnn ... events transpired. 

What is a summer without moving anyway?  I mean, really, its all about starting over right?  Might as well get all the moving bugs out of my system before I graduate, cause I mean, really, I can't just up and move every summer when I enter the real world, now can I?

Best start packing up the things I don't need at the moment, get them ready for their big day!

Web of emotions

It's hard to discern what emotion you are experiencing when you have so many different things going on at once.  So many emotions are happening, they cancel each other out.  And then its like, which one makes me sad? Which one makes me happy? Which one am I scared of?  Why am I angry? Do I have this glimmering feeling of hope because of this thought that just crossed my mind or that one?  Which way am I supposed to go?  

I'm sure writing about it would help, but I just don't want to.  I'm too tired from wearing all of these feelings everyday and trying to keep up with school and giving my last burst of energy to my kids to keep them happy and on a good track.  Cause when I'm happy and excited, they are.  ANd when I am tired and angry, they act out.  Not an impossible task, it just takes a lot!  But I wouldn't trade it for the WORLD. 

I love my kids.  I love to hug them and tickle them and give them projects and see how proud they are when they finish and how each one of them is so different and can do the same project that turns out in such different ways.  I love to be there for them when they have exciting news like "all star student of the week," or a good report card, or a new sibling, or just to hear how excited they are to go home and have family pizza night.  I wish I could have them for more time, and give them more and help them to get out of their situation.  Or at least inspire them to try harder.  I fear for many of them when they leave us, who is going to push them to do their homework every night?  And even if they have that, how many of their parents/grandparents/guardians are going to make them do it over until they have put their best effort into it?  And how often will they be told they are important and can do anything they want and give them the support to reach those goals?

Well, there's one thing that is on my mind, I guess I've gotten that one sorted out!  Only a thousand more to go.

Uhhh... what just happened?

Sometimes, things happen that you never in your whole life expected to see.

And sometimes, you find yourself in a crisis, unsure of what to do, and wishing you could contribute more, but scared of what might happen.

And then you turn to other people for comfort. And you look to them to listen to you and to just be there.  You don't expect them to fix anything, but you expect them to understand you are upset, even if they don't get why.  It is then that you discover how much the people around you care.  Even the ones you don't know very well that show up at your house to listen, or to distract you from your thoughts.  

This weekend, some crazy stuff went down.  Like, I can't even begin to explain.  I can't remember the last time I felt so drained in every sense of the word.  I felt myself spiraling farther and farther into my emotions and letting them takeover and could hear myself saying things I didn't really want to say, but probably needed to.  

And lucky for me, I have some of THE most wonderful people in my life.  People that can listen to me and understand that I just need to say things.  And one person that can take the blunt of my frustrations and understand that the majority of what I said was out of emotion and stress and not sleeping.

Not that it changed the way things turned out, but maybe its for the best.

For the moment at least.  We'll see how things go in the future.  

I'm grateful for everyone in my life, and I'm especially grateful to the strength of my roommate.

Sarah's tips on getting warm when your house is so cold the windows get foggy on the outside

1.  Take showers that are so hot you sweat so when you have to get out and face the arctic cold, it feels good.

2.  Carry a blanket and slippers with you always.

3.  Tuck your blankets in around you while you sleep so no heat can escape.  Hope you brushed your teeth, cause a lot of that hot air is comin from your mouth.

4.  While drying your hair, turn the dryer to "high" and "hot" and put it under your shirt for a few seconds.

5.  Put all of your clothes in the dryer on high heat for 20 minutes before putting them on.

6. Use a heating pad to warm up spots on your bed before you get in.  This also works if you have pets that like to sleep on your bed.  Make them move and crawl into the warm spot they've left you.  Roommates can do it too.

7.  Think warm thoughts.  (I don't know if this actually works more than just makes you want to be there.  But give it a try anyway)

8.  Wear many layers.

9. Leave the house and find somewhere warmer to hang out. 

10.  Turn the heat on and deal with the utility bill being a little higher.  At least you'll live to pay it.

Little by Little

As I was walking home from my one class today (biggest waste of time ever... ) I spotted the mishies out doing their thing and they saw me too.  Elder Baird immediately asked "Are you as cold as I am?!?" haha.  Silly.  They decided it would be a good time to come teach a lesson to me.  They say they are trying to teach more members to get feedback on how to be better teachers.  Sounds like a solid idea, unfortunately, I am not that good at giving feedback.

However!  I was able to bear my testimony as they asked me about my process of joining the church and my experience with prayer.  It was something I needed to do.  I really don't bear my testimony often, and being able to do that today felt so good.  Honestly, I didn't even realize I was doing it until they said "You have a strong a testimony, you should share it more often." And I thought to myself, Yeah, I do.  I just don't ever think of it that way.  I look at other people that have these overwhelming connections to the Spirit and wonder why I don't have that.  What today helped me to see is that I do.  Having a testimony isn't about big signs and life changing moments.  It's something small and inside that you have to stay in touch with and recognize.  And to completely contradict what I just said- it is life changing.  How many changes have I made in my life because of my faith and testimony and trusting in my Heavenly Father?  

I am so grateful for this happening today. It is exactly what I needed right when I needed it.  I've been feeling unfocused lately, and all I needed was this small, 20 minute conversation with some missionaries that couldn't bare to be out in the cold anymore. :)

I know I live a blessed life, and little by little I am learning to recognize and appreciate each part of it.

25 things

I got tagged on facebook like  eighty times for this so I will try to come up with 25 things.

1. Hugs are like, the most important form of affection.  

2.  If you see me singing my lungs out in my car, there is a 98% chance it is disney music.

3. I'm super afraid of failure.  It's hard for me to try new things because of this, and hard for me to imagine myself as a professional.  I'm scared to graduate and fail at my job.

4.  I am also afraid of rejection.  That is why I don't talk to new people, too scared it won't work.  For this reason, I rarely make the 'first move' in a relationship. First date or six months down the road.  99% chance I won't do anything until the other person does. 

5.  I've taken three years of spanish at the college level and can understand most of what I hear if I listen really hard.  But I can't speak it on command.  Kinda goes with the failure thing.  I can carry a conversation with myself in my head forever though.  

6.  Because of all the spanish, my spelling has gotten worse.  Anywhere there are supposed to be double letters, it takes me a few times to figure it out.  That doesn't exist in spanish. (Most spanish... and if there are doubles, it is pronounced different)

7.  I HATE mouth noises.  Like chewing, sipping, slurping... yeah.  Some people are quiet eaters, and others are not.  And the sound of them chewing and hearing their mouth moving makes my skin crawl.  I actually feel like there are bugs inside my ears... and I can't hear anything else.  I have to leave the room, or find something louder to do, or else I get really angry. It's one of the few things that makes me consistently angry, and it is something I know they don't have control over.  

8.  Oh, I may be borderline autistic.  The whole, unsocial, auditory issues... yeah.  Not enough to actually be autism, but enough for people to make comments.  Including my mother.

9.  I love to drive barefoot.

10.  I like to be barefoot in general.  But I don't do it as much in richmond.

11.  I haven't danced in three years.  I miss it so much.  Giving it up completely may be the only thing I truly regret in my life.

12.  I like to keep just a few people close to me.  I don't feel the need to be surrounded by lots of people, I'd rather be in intimate settings.

13.  I kinda expect a lot out of my romantic relationships.  And whatever caliber you set it up with, you best not ever go below that line.

14. I'm not high maintenance, I just need a lot of attention and encouragement.

15.  I love to get dressed up and wear a dress and heels and do my hair and my make-up and look fabulous, but I also like to hang out in a pair of basketball shorts and and t-shirt and flip flops.

16.  On rainy days, I like to stay in bed and dream.  watch movies and cuddle up close to someone warm.  That is one requirement for my future husband- be willing to give me a rainy day movie marathon.

17.  I like to make the gifts I give.  Whether that be buying a lot of things and putting them together to make some kind of a basket, or creating something new- I feel like it is more personal and I am more proud of it.

18.  I get really nervous when I give people things.  Or when people look at my work.  Goes along with the fear of rejection.  I'm getting better though.  I close my eyes and wait.  Very rarely will people be cruel and say anything mean about stuff to your face.

19.  I'm not very good at keeping in touch with people.  I'm lucky to have a family and amazing friends that don't hold it against me and always welcome me back with open arms and smiles.

20.  I've fallen in love with Virginia, but I miss the green and wet of Washington. 

21.  I want a winter wedding and a big family.  That's as far as I've gotten in my planning of that part of my life and I am ok with that.  I think people that have huge intricate plans for life will be let down more easily.  I don't think I have low standards, I think I have reasonable goals.  

22.  Looks really aren't that important to me.  Except for my own. Lucky for me, I consider myself blessed with good looks.

23.  I love the smells of lemons.

24.  I still shop in the juniors section because I don't think women's clothes fit me right. Especially pants/skirts.  I always feel like the oldest person in the section.  I'm only 22 though.

25.  I admire children and their ability to find joy in simple things.  I model my life after them.

Spring break- first half

Ok, so I have passed the halfway mark for my spring break and I haven't done much of anything, but that is totally fine with me.  I don't really mind it all, really.  I have however, read two books!  Oh yes, I have been a reading fool.  First, Under the Rose by Diana Peterfreund, then Rite of Spring (Break) also by Diana Peterfreund.  These are the next two books in the series following Secret Society Girl.  Pretty much had me hooked and couldn't stop reading.  

Got my fix of 

scandal since

 Gossip Girl and 

One Tree Hill haven't been on. 

 

AND 

Grey's. 

 Where has my television gone? 

Anywho,  Yes, that is over now.

I have also been working, or fighting, whatever you choose to call it.  My kids are so antsy all the stinkin time!  Lol.  Today was nice weather though so I took them outside and let them run.  Actually, we all had pretty much the same idea.  LET THEM RUN!!  I know we are supposed to like, give them organized activity and all, but they need to just run and do what they want.  They get organized activity all day.  

I have a group of kindergarteners that are EXTREMELY ticklish, and love to be tickled.  So we were having a grand ol' time with that when one of the more, how should I say this, affectionate boys said he could see my underwear... lol.  Well, considering I was being tackled from all sides I figured it was possible, but when I checked my shirt it was still tucked in in the back so I said "Nah-uh!" to which he told me he could see my blue underwear.  I figured he just assumed my shirt was my underwear... or something, they are the same color today.  That is until I caught him taking a peek up my shorts... SO he could see my underwear.  Grand.  I am always having to keep an eye on that one.  Still in that 'curious about the body' phase and not afraid to show it.  

So that was the excitement of my day.  And my break.  Now, I will find my way to the kitchen so I may eat some delicious food. YUMYUM!

Rules of locking the front door:

Doors have locks on them for a reason, to keep unwanted intruders out.  We use them to keep our valuables, and our lives, safe. So please, follow these simple rules for locking the door:

1) If you are the last person leaving the house, lock the door behind you.  No one is there should an intruder decide to test the door out

2) If you leave much earlier than anyone else is awake, lock the door. Because honestly, I don't want to wake up and find some homeless dude on my couch.

2a) If the only person left in the house is in the shower, lock the door. The last thing we need is a visitor while we are trying to get ready for the day.

2b)  If you leave after lights have been turned off and everyone has gone to bed, lock the door behind you.  Again, I don't want any strangers waking me up. Ew.

3) Do not use your roommates keys to lock the door and then take them with you.  They cannot leave the house without them. 

3a) Do not use your roommate's keys to lock the door and then LEAVE THEM IN THE LOCK.  Uhhh, what is the point in locking the door and then leaving the key in it? That's inviting someone to come in. Or steal a car.

4) If you have decided it is safe to leave without locking the door, then please pull the door shut behind you.  Cause if I walk down there one more time to find the door open cause you are to ignorant to use your brain, Imma slap some sense into you.

That is all.  Is it really that hard?  Is it really too much of me to ask you to use your brain? 

Maybe so. Maybe I should print up this list and post it.

Transition to Spring Break

Today was the last day of classes before break, and lets just say I was not too happy about having to actually go to class on this day of beautiful weather.  I mean, 1) it's friday and 2) its time for break already! and 3) friday classes are BORING.  

I went to my spanish class only because we were supposed to trade back papers we had corrected and I didn't want my partner to be without her paper over break when she could be revising it.  Well, she didn't show. Haha.  Apparently she has more faith than me in our teacher's flexibility of due dates.  I'm not upset though. So, no worries on that.  We played 20 questions for the whole period, which while good practice for the language, was not really worth getting out of bed for. 

Then there was my joke of a science class.  I could have sworn yesterday he said "and this is what we'll talk about tomorrow" but apparently that was code for "enjoy your break early."  But there were about 10 of us that couldn't decipher his secret message and showed up anyway to him saying "NO! You weren't supposed to come today!"  So, yeah.  Kinda a worthless day as far as classes go.  

Then work, was work.  I adore my kids. Mostly.  And it was absolutely gorgeous out so i took them outside to play.  I was SHOCKED when we got out there and the entire blacktop area was gone and replaced with trailer classrooms.  I knew they were building some more, but right on the playground?  Are they going to completely take out the playground?  Cause they are pretty close.  Is that why I don't see the kids outside anymore when I drive in?  Are the getting rid of recess?!?!?!!  Maybe this is why they are always so hyped up.  Bad enough they all have to sit in school all day with nothing but a 30 minute recess right after lunch, but taking it away completely? I certainly hope not.  

It was pretty crazy though.

My night ended with pancakes and NCIS.  It was a wonderful end to an otherwise disappointing day.  Good company and good times.  Yes.

I will leave it on that note!

HAPPY SPRING BREAK ALL!

SNOW DAY!!

Can you believe it?  It snowed for real in Richmond, and classes were cancelled.  Despite this, I still felt it necessary to wake up at 7 and check, just in case.  Maybe because I dreamt it all melted and I had to go to school anyway.  But lucky for me, it was all a dream because when I looked out my window this is what I saw:

Which of course led me running to Amber's room to jump on her bed and wake her up to tell her it was no doubt a snow day.  Officially, VCU was still open at this point (my teachers all e-mailed and said class was canceled, so I was lucky for that earlier notice) and Amber was angry that I would dare to wake her before it was time.  She needed her rest for class after all.  I was determined to make her get up and look at what was undoubtedly a snow day.  This is the view from her window:

 Standing on my porch

  Our beautiful yard is a winter wonderland. Notice the tracks on the side from the dog... she apparently was as excited for the as the rest of us.  Who would have known?  I don't even think she's seen snow before.

The front of my house.  

That door really stands out when everything is blanketed in snow!

The side of my house. All pretty and white.

Also notice my car covered in snow. Yikes!

Sarah and Amber are happy for a Snow day!

Suma is happy for playing in the snow.  She is just camera shy, that's why she looks like she isn't enjoying it.  Before we pulled the cameras out she was running and rolling in it.  

I don't know if you can tell, but she has snow on her face in this one.  It is partly from me trying to get her to catch snowballs, which she bit at!  She tried, but then she just stuck her face in the snow, sniffing around for something. Probably trying to figure out where her usual smells are.

Since there is no school today and I am all caught up on my homework, my project is this:

Yup, gonna clean my room today.  It's a mess, I know.  Don't look for too long.  

This is what it looks like now:

Much better, No?

I know it still looks cluttered a bit, but notice I don't have a closet so I have to keep all my hanging up clothes on that rack... So it just looks like a closet would.  Except better, at least in my memory.  Closets are a place where you shove things in precariously and shut the door.

Anyhow, that made for a long day.  That and these pictures not wanting to go where I wanted them to!

I get tomorrow off of work to, but not school.  So I have to walk in the cold and wet slush to my one class tomorrow, unless I get an early morning e-mail telling me otherwise.  Here's hoping for that!

Time- just one thing I need to better manage

I'm not very good at managing time.  I spend a lot of it thinking "well, I can play for just a little longer, then still get it done" While true, and usually successful, it is a lot more stressful.  If I would remember to work first play second, I think life would fall into place a little easier. 

Yes, I'm sure it would

Oh, love

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
--Helen Rowland

Easier said than done, right? You just have to let it happen and stop thinking.  The more you think about it the harder it is, because you will start to find everything that is wrong with the idea, but you can't do that.  You just can't because nothing is perfect.  You have to hold onto the small, simple things that light up your day.  Like phone calls at 6 in the morning to say hello. As much as you didn't plan on waking up then, you know you like it.  It's a special call, just for you, just to remind you of the beauty of falling in love every morning.

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
--Erica Jong

I don't even know what to add to this.  I think this sums up about what I'm feeling right now.  When you know something is worth fighting for, you can't let go, you won't.  You just want the other person to believe it's worth fighting for too.  But sometimes they get scared, and don't know what to do. And sometimes they can't make a decision because they aren't sure which road to take.  And the two of you get stuck in limbo, feeling lost and confused and hurt until someone finally breaks the silence.  

Which is why I end with this:

If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.

--Anonymous

Not knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling makes it hard to move on.  You need them to tell you what they are going through, and you need to be cut loose before you can stand on your own.  

More Books!

These are just a few of the books I have seen/read in class this semester.  I mean, we hear about 15-20 books a week, but these stuck out, and I own now... haha.  Last week our theme was fairy tales, and the retellings are just hilarious.  And I went a little crazy on them.  Waking Beauty and Falling for Rapunzel are by the same author, who also has a couple more if I remember correctly, but they are funny new versions of classic stories.  

The Frog Prince Continued is the happily ever after part of the story, where things aren't so happily ever after. And then Once Upon a Time the End is a story of a father who tells the classic stories quickly really wanting that kid to just fall asleep! All of them had me smiling, if not laughing out loud in the bookstore.

Then we have The Dot and Ish, by the same person, Peter H. Reynolds.  These are feel good stories with nice morals at the end and all that warm fuzzy.  It will bring a tear to your eye. no joke. So read with caution!  But, good books, and beautiful illustrations.

Books!

I'd like to share some of the books I've read since the new year started.  If for no other reason than to take my mind off of the current situation.  

First, The Host by Stephenie Meyer.  Author of Twilight?  Yeah.  So, pretty much, a science fiction book, that has a love story in it, and there may be some inner-species lovin goin on.  Similar to the human vampire thing.  Anyhow, the book was pretty good once I got into it.  It took a while, like three four chapters at least, and then I buzzed through it.  The only thing was, it was so big I couldn't carry it around with me!  I like small books that fit easily into my bag an don't weigh a hundred pounds.

Next I read The Wednesday Letters by... somebody.  Some virginian author. I could tell you if I looked at the book.  I'm

 sure its on the picture too haha.  So this one had this great synopsis about a love story and family secrets and all this juicy stuff and then the book kinda was not as exciting.  The person who wrote the summary should re-

write the book.  The idea was good, An elderly couple dies and their kids uncover their story through letters the husband wrote to his wife every week.  But all of the issues were just kinda let go in the end.  Like he was done writing, everyone is happy!  It was a so so book.  But I finished it! 

Jason F. Wright. That's the author.

Following this was another love story!  The end of the alphabet.  This was a good one, with a lot of really amazing moments.  And it is just over 100 pages so it was quick and easy to carry.  I would recomm

end it for anyone looking to be inspired by the story of a couple that loved each other for

 decades.

Then we had Secret Society Girl which really serves no purpose but to be a juicy drama filled adventure.  For those who like easy reads and drama and secrets, this is a good book.  I couldn't stop reading.  Of, course, I like brainless reading where I don't have to be paying complete attention and concentrating ad instead can get easily lost in.  I think I finished it in less than a week.  I also intend on reading the rest of the series once I have a chance and some extra funds to go to Barnes&Noble.  

I am currently reading Bud, Not Buddy for class.  My children's literature class, yes, it's a children's book. People give me a funny look when I say that, if you are gonna teach it shouldn't you read it?  Anyhow, children's book or not, this is a

 good one.  I can't believe I haven't read until now.  In fact, I think everyone should read it.  It says ages 10&up but that doesn't mean us college students can't enjoy it too.

La Tomatina

I just spent way too long trying to write a paper.  A paper that is barely more than a page.  But how much can you say about the world's largest food fight? That's right.  

There is a tradition in Spain in which tens of thousands of people crowd the streets for the opportunity to throw tomatoes at eachother for an hour.  I think maybe I should go.  Or start

 that same tradition here.  I mean, really!  Think of how much stress you could release if at the end of the semester you were allowed to go out

 in the street an pelt your friends with tomatoes!

This particular food fight starts days in advance with food competitions and dancing and 

fireworks and music and the morning of, people have to figure out how to get a ham off the top of a greased pole.  Yes.  I said it. 

In other news, date night was cancelled due to this bipolar weather making people sick.  So I will be finding other things to do tonight.  Not focusing on the fact that no doubt tomorrow's plans will be held, because all of the sudden the illness will be gone.  A night awa from me is just what the doctor ordered!

No, ok, not really.  I'm not a pessimist, usually, just lately.  But I'm trying not to have any violent outbursts, and so far, I've done a pretty good job!

Ok, I must shower and get ready for school!

Learning

Apparently, trust is much harder for me than I've realized.  I guess I've always known, but I think it is getting even harder.  It is easy for me to feel "let down" or "burned" or whatever you wanna call it, and every time it happens, it sticks around. So when a similar situation comes around, those same feelings resurface.  It could be nothing like the past situation, but little tidbits are similar and I am quick to fear the same outcome.

Kinda like an abused dog.

The dog was hit with a newspaper by one person.  Now the dog fears any person holding a newspaper.  I just want to carry the newspaper, but the dog thinks I am going to hit her with it.  I never have and have no intention of ever doing that, but she does not trust me.  She is still scared of the newspaper because she remembers how it felt and hurt.

And so, I have a hard time trusting similar behaviors that may or may not lead to the same hurtful outcome.  But, because I am a human being, I must learn that no two people are alike and I must learn to trust people more, but also be cautious.  I mean, trust is something that must be earned.  That also comes with this human being brain, we know that not all people are good people.  But if someone has earned your trust, give it to them.  That is the point of my story.

Quotes to think about

On Tuesdays, the kiddos have to pick out nine words and draw pictures of them.  Help them to grasp the meaning of words and such.  I was helping one of my girls (that also happens to be ESL) with the word 'dam.'   I asked her to read it to me:

Girl: "D- A- M (sounding out) mmm ap!"
Me: "try again"
Girl: "D-A-M dam!"
Me: "Good! Now, what does dam mean?"
Girl: "Um, Something you say when you are cooking?"

Lesson: watch what you say around your kids!  They pick it up quickly and may not even be aware of what it means.  However, it does make teachers laugh to hear the things that come out of their mouths.

"You gotta watch out for me. I am tricky, I will just trick you right there!"
-Another one of my Y girls

That one was just funny to me.

We were having a rough week behavior wise.  I gave them a nice long lecture, two days ina row.  And a lesson in how a line works.  They practiced lining up and walking together until they could do it correctly three times in a row.  Man, I felt like such a drill sergeant.  But it worked.  I came in the next day and this is what they had to say:

Kids: "Miss Sarah! Today is your lucky day!"
Me: "Why is that?"
Kids: "We decided that today we are going to do what you tell us and listen really good! We planned it!"

One of two things happened:

1) They DID NOT like practicing lines instead of free play for an hour and so were scared into behavior. Or,

2) They actually wanted to please me

My guess goes for the first, but I think some of them genuinely cared about my feelings. If not out of true concern then because they know when I am happy they have more fun.

Anywho, kids hear what you say. Even if they don't act like it.  They are smarter than they let on and hard workers.  Give them credit and take a lesson from them.

Lucky Girl

I went on a date tonight.  The first in a long time.  I've been kinda waiting for this date, for, oh, about a month or two.  I mean, hang out is all good and fine, but I like dates.  A night out, away from people you know, just together.  

So, the original plan was to cook dinner together and then watch a movie.  Well, unfortunately for us, my roommate was holding a party at our house tonight.  So, slight change of plans.  Eat out and then go to a movie.  Well, just so happened the movie playing at the Byrd tonight was the same as the movie we saw on our first date.  So, he 're-created' our first date.  From the restaurant, to the movie, to the cheesy old music in the car  (on our first date he was playing a cd he found at work full of some, 'awesome' banjo tunes).

That aloe was enough to make me a very happy girl.  I mean, the date in itself was a good event, but add on the cutesy first date replica, and what's a girl to do?

Well, we got out of the movie and I had text messages from my roommate saying the front door was left open.  Not just unlocked, open.  Now, when she and I left the house, there were a bunch of people arriving for the party, coming in and out.  So naturally we didn't lock it.  But I guess somewhere in the rushing around other roommate forgot to lock it on her way out.

At first I was mad.  Especially because my dog had gotten out and run down the street.  Luckily she was found and came home.  I wanted at that moment to go home and call the last person to leave the house, but boy said no.  He said he would take me home when I cooled off and had a chance to think rationally.  

So we talked.  And he pointed out that everyone makes mistakes. And maybe in my eyes this was a big mistake and I felt wronged, but that didn't make it ok to demean anyone.  Remember how I felt when she did that to me?  The important thing to remember is that nobody was hurt, nothing is missing, and the animals are safe.  We were very lucky to not have anything go wrong in this situation.  There are plenty of times that locked houses are broken into and things taken and people hurt, and ours was a welcome invitation to any crazed person that needed a thrill.  

And so, I was calmed and brought back to a rational level and will work my very hardest to stay here when we have our hose discussion that was already in the works.  Calm.

I am lucky to have someone in my life, actually many people in my life, that know how to talk to me and help me.   I am so glad to have been with him when this happened so that I could find my footing before I did something I would have to apologize for.  I love my roommate (not door leaving open one) and she has the ability to do the same, but had we been together, both of us would have played off of each other's anger and it would have been a much bigger blow up than needed.  

That's all for now.  I'm going to go read my crazy book.