Oh, love

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense.
--Helen Rowland

Easier said than done, right? You just have to let it happen and stop thinking.  The more you think about it the harder it is, because you will start to find everything that is wrong with the idea, but you can't do that.  You just can't because nothing is perfect.  You have to hold onto the small, simple things that light up your day.  Like phone calls at 6 in the morning to say hello. As much as you didn't plan on waking up then, you know you like it.  It's a special call, just for you, just to remind you of the beauty of falling in love every morning.

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
--Erica Jong

I don't even know what to add to this.  I think this sums up about what I'm feeling right now.  When you know something is worth fighting for, you can't let go, you won't.  You just want the other person to believe it's worth fighting for too.  But sometimes they get scared, and don't know what to do. And sometimes they can't make a decision because they aren't sure which road to take.  And the two of you get stuck in limbo, feeling lost and confused and hurt until someone finally breaks the silence.  

Which is why I end with this:

If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.

--Anonymous

Not knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling makes it hard to move on.  You need them to tell you what they are going through, and you need to be cut loose before you can stand on your own.  

More Books!

These are just a few of the books I have seen/read in class this semester.  I mean, we hear about 15-20 books a week, but these stuck out, and I own now... haha.  Last week our theme was fairy tales, and the retellings are just hilarious.  And I went a little crazy on them.  Waking Beauty and Falling for Rapunzel are by the same author, who also has a couple more if I remember correctly, but they are funny new versions of classic stories.  

The Frog Prince Continued is the happily ever after part of the story, where things aren't so happily ever after. And then Once Upon a Time the End is a story of a father who tells the classic stories quickly really wanting that kid to just fall asleep! All of them had me smiling, if not laughing out loud in the bookstore.

Then we have The Dot and Ish, by the same person, Peter H. Reynolds.  These are feel good stories with nice morals at the end and all that warm fuzzy.  It will bring a tear to your eye. no joke. So read with caution!  But, good books, and beautiful illustrations.

Books!

I'd like to share some of the books I've read since the new year started.  If for no other reason than to take my mind off of the current situation.  

First, The Host by Stephenie Meyer.  Author of Twilight?  Yeah.  So, pretty much, a science fiction book, that has a love story in it, and there may be some inner-species lovin goin on.  Similar to the human vampire thing.  Anyhow, the book was pretty good once I got into it.  It took a while, like three four chapters at least, and then I buzzed through it.  The only thing was, it was so big I couldn't carry it around with me!  I like small books that fit easily into my bag an don't weigh a hundred pounds.

Next I read The Wednesday Letters by... somebody.  Some virginian author. I could tell you if I looked at the book.  I'm

 sure its on the picture too haha.  So this one had this great synopsis about a love story and family secrets and all this juicy stuff and then the book kinda was not as exciting.  The person who wrote the summary should re-

write the book.  The idea was good, An elderly couple dies and their kids uncover their story through letters the husband wrote to his wife every week.  But all of the issues were just kinda let go in the end.  Like he was done writing, everyone is happy!  It was a so so book.  But I finished it! 

Jason F. Wright. That's the author.

Following this was another love story!  The end of the alphabet.  This was a good one, with a lot of really amazing moments.  And it is just over 100 pages so it was quick and easy to carry.  I would recomm

end it for anyone looking to be inspired by the story of a couple that loved each other for

 decades.

Then we had Secret Society Girl which really serves no purpose but to be a juicy drama filled adventure.  For those who like easy reads and drama and secrets, this is a good book.  I couldn't stop reading.  Of, course, I like brainless reading where I don't have to be paying complete attention and concentrating ad instead can get easily lost in.  I think I finished it in less than a week.  I also intend on reading the rest of the series once I have a chance and some extra funds to go to Barnes&Noble.  

I am currently reading Bud, Not Buddy for class.  My children's literature class, yes, it's a children's book. People give me a funny look when I say that, if you are gonna teach it shouldn't you read it?  Anyhow, children's book or not, this is a

 good one.  I can't believe I haven't read until now.  In fact, I think everyone should read it.  It says ages 10&up but that doesn't mean us college students can't enjoy it too.

La Tomatina

I just spent way too long trying to write a paper.  A paper that is barely more than a page.  But how much can you say about the world's largest food fight? That's right.  

There is a tradition in Spain in which tens of thousands of people crowd the streets for the opportunity to throw tomatoes at eachother for an hour.  I think maybe I should go.  Or start

 that same tradition here.  I mean, really!  Think of how much stress you could release if at the end of the semester you were allowed to go out

 in the street an pelt your friends with tomatoes!

This particular food fight starts days in advance with food competitions and dancing and 

fireworks and music and the morning of, people have to figure out how to get a ham off the top of a greased pole.  Yes.  I said it. 

In other news, date night was cancelled due to this bipolar weather making people sick.  So I will be finding other things to do tonight.  Not focusing on the fact that no doubt tomorrow's plans will be held, because all of the sudden the illness will be gone.  A night awa from me is just what the doctor ordered!

No, ok, not really.  I'm not a pessimist, usually, just lately.  But I'm trying not to have any violent outbursts, and so far, I've done a pretty good job!

Ok, I must shower and get ready for school!

Learning

Apparently, trust is much harder for me than I've realized.  I guess I've always known, but I think it is getting even harder.  It is easy for me to feel "let down" or "burned" or whatever you wanna call it, and every time it happens, it sticks around. So when a similar situation comes around, those same feelings resurface.  It could be nothing like the past situation, but little tidbits are similar and I am quick to fear the same outcome.

Kinda like an abused dog.

The dog was hit with a newspaper by one person.  Now the dog fears any person holding a newspaper.  I just want to carry the newspaper, but the dog thinks I am going to hit her with it.  I never have and have no intention of ever doing that, but she does not trust me.  She is still scared of the newspaper because she remembers how it felt and hurt.

And so, I have a hard time trusting similar behaviors that may or may not lead to the same hurtful outcome.  But, because I am a human being, I must learn that no two people are alike and I must learn to trust people more, but also be cautious.  I mean, trust is something that must be earned.  That also comes with this human being brain, we know that not all people are good people.  But if someone has earned your trust, give it to them.  That is the point of my story.

Quotes to think about

On Tuesdays, the kiddos have to pick out nine words and draw pictures of them.  Help them to grasp the meaning of words and such.  I was helping one of my girls (that also happens to be ESL) with the word 'dam.'   I asked her to read it to me:

Girl: "D- A- M (sounding out) mmm ap!"
Me: "try again"
Girl: "D-A-M dam!"
Me: "Good! Now, what does dam mean?"
Girl: "Um, Something you say when you are cooking?"

Lesson: watch what you say around your kids!  They pick it up quickly and may not even be aware of what it means.  However, it does make teachers laugh to hear the things that come out of their mouths.

"You gotta watch out for me. I am tricky, I will just trick you right there!"
-Another one of my Y girls

That one was just funny to me.

We were having a rough week behavior wise.  I gave them a nice long lecture, two days ina row.  And a lesson in how a line works.  They practiced lining up and walking together until they could do it correctly three times in a row.  Man, I felt like such a drill sergeant.  But it worked.  I came in the next day and this is what they had to say:

Kids: "Miss Sarah! Today is your lucky day!"
Me: "Why is that?"
Kids: "We decided that today we are going to do what you tell us and listen really good! We planned it!"

One of two things happened:

1) They DID NOT like practicing lines instead of free play for an hour and so were scared into behavior. Or,

2) They actually wanted to please me

My guess goes for the first, but I think some of them genuinely cared about my feelings. If not out of true concern then because they know when I am happy they have more fun.

Anywho, kids hear what you say. Even if they don't act like it.  They are smarter than they let on and hard workers.  Give them credit and take a lesson from them.

Lucky Girl

I went on a date tonight.  The first in a long time.  I've been kinda waiting for this date, for, oh, about a month or two.  I mean, hang out is all good and fine, but I like dates.  A night out, away from people you know, just together.  

So, the original plan was to cook dinner together and then watch a movie.  Well, unfortunately for us, my roommate was holding a party at our house tonight.  So, slight change of plans.  Eat out and then go to a movie.  Well, just so happened the movie playing at the Byrd tonight was the same as the movie we saw on our first date.  So, he 're-created' our first date.  From the restaurant, to the movie, to the cheesy old music in the car  (on our first date he was playing a cd he found at work full of some, 'awesome' banjo tunes).

That aloe was enough to make me a very happy girl.  I mean, the date in itself was a good event, but add on the cutesy first date replica, and what's a girl to do?

Well, we got out of the movie and I had text messages from my roommate saying the front door was left open.  Not just unlocked, open.  Now, when she and I left the house, there were a bunch of people arriving for the party, coming in and out.  So naturally we didn't lock it.  But I guess somewhere in the rushing around other roommate forgot to lock it on her way out.

At first I was mad.  Especially because my dog had gotten out and run down the street.  Luckily she was found and came home.  I wanted at that moment to go home and call the last person to leave the house, but boy said no.  He said he would take me home when I cooled off and had a chance to think rationally.  

So we talked.  And he pointed out that everyone makes mistakes. And maybe in my eyes this was a big mistake and I felt wronged, but that didn't make it ok to demean anyone.  Remember how I felt when she did that to me?  The important thing to remember is that nobody was hurt, nothing is missing, and the animals are safe.  We were very lucky to not have anything go wrong in this situation.  There are plenty of times that locked houses are broken into and things taken and people hurt, and ours was a welcome invitation to any crazed person that needed a thrill.  

And so, I was calmed and brought back to a rational level and will work my very hardest to stay here when we have our hose discussion that was already in the works.  Calm.

I am lucky to have someone in my life, actually many people in my life, that know how to talk to me and help me.   I am so glad to have been with him when this happened so that I could find my footing before I did something I would have to apologize for.  I love my roommate (not door leaving open one) and she has the ability to do the same, but had we been together, both of us would have played off of each other's anger and it would have been a much bigger blow up than needed.  

That's all for now.  I'm going to go read my crazy book.

D-d-d-d-d-d-RAMA!

I have been called a friend, trustworthy, good-looking, good listener, honest, compassionate, dedicated, responsible, and a list of other positive qualities.  I'm not saying I'm perfect or that everyone should love me.  I mean, by all means, feel free to not like me.  But never in my life have I been called disrespectful and inconsiderate.  Well, at least not to my recollection.  

So you can imagine when my roommate decided she wanted to be upset with me (yes, being angry is a decision) and threw every bad quality I had in my face with a 10,000 times amplification, I was thrown off and hurt.  I now saw myself as this person that takes advantage of those around her and doesn't put forth any effort to better relationships.  For an entire day I thought about these things, and finally came to realize that most of what was said was out of anger and blown way out of proportion.  

However, it still hurts.  And to see that now she is ok with what I was doing? I am trying really hard to choose not to be mad, but it's difficult.

Come to find out she wants to come talk to me and apologize to me for making me feel like a child unworthy of her presence.  Do I have to accept?  Apologies take work, so I should.  Especially coming from her.   But what if I still need time to forgive?

I saw Madea goes to Jail last night.  Madea was up to her usual antics and had me laughing by the end of her first line.  And as with all of her (his I guess, Tyler Perry's) movies, there is an underlying message.  This one was about forgiveness.  They talked about how forgiveness is for us, not the other person because until we can forgive them, we are holding onto anger.  They will go on with their lives and we are stuck in the past.

So, the answer is yes.  Let it go.  Petty fights just make your hair fall out. Or turn gray. ah! 

Hallelu'r!

Anywho, I must be off to my hair appointment!

Megan, my hero.

And so it started

Yes, I have a blog now. 

Welcome.

My life is more interesting to me than to you I'm sure, but I'm gonna go ahead and write about it anyway. So there!

Unfortunately, nothing much exciting has happened to me today.  So, I will leave you with this-

Just because your teacher is old does not mean he has lost all sense of humor and is completely serious about the assignments he gives.  If it seems a little ridiculous and laugh worthy, it is probably because he needed to laugh and wanted to see your reaction.